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| Bantayan Island, Cebu, Philippines |
Life is not all a paradise to behold, there are lots of twists and twirls, and of ups and downs, but no matter what, still life is beautiful, because of love. Love is sweet, it makes the world go round, and some go crazy happy, but love also hurt the most. Many pretend to be just fine but inside bleeding in pain.
Time heals a broken heart, yeah maybe, but when, how long, to survive.
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| Beracha Inland Resort, Talibon, Bohol |
Surviving and overcoming a broken heart is really a personal choice to make. It can make you or break you, and the end is what you become. There are many ways perhaps but here is just my piece of cents inspired by my own experiences and stories from real people who shared theirs too.
Fresh from my college graduation I immediately landed a job where I meet a wonderful woman and fell in love with her at first sight. Fortunately, we shared the same feelings and soon stayed together. Our love bore us two sons and I thought our love story would become a happy ending like any other fairy tale. But one day, suddenly she told me she was leaving with our sons. My world falls apart, I thought it was already the end of the world. Literally, I can feel a wound inside my heart. Time has passed, but still, every moment when I’m alone, even up to this day I can hear in my mind the voice of my sons calling me papa, and it still hurts that much remembering it and realizing that it was just all in my mind. The pains still linger inside but I survive, and life continues like I was never hurt. And I believe this is not a story unique to me, it's actually a common heartbreaking story so let's not linger on the story itself, but on how life must go on, after all, there is still life after being broken.
First and foremost of all, go back to where your first and ultimate love is, of course, it's your parents or your family. Open your hearts to them. Share the pain with them and let them comfort you. Even if you are not on good terms with them, in times of your most vulnerable moments, they will always come for you. If you hate them, forget your hatred, and follow your heart. If you are shy just let your tears do the talk. Hug your mother or your sister like never before and cry on their shoulder. Let it go. There is always a time for everything, and in times like this, it's a time for a man to really cry. Don’t hide from anyone. Don’t pretend that you are alright. And don’t ever think of giving up, there will always be life after a broken relationship.
Your best friend may be your usual comfort when in distress but in times of a broken relationship, only the warm love of a family together can comfort a wounded heart. You may feel better even without them, but the feeling of emptiness and longing will still overcome you during moments when you are alone. The love that you will get from the attention of your family will nourish your spirit to become stronger each day so that no matter what happens, you are still you as a whole.
When the family is really not available, go to church, or go to places like charitable institutions or groups of people where you can cry out loud and find another kind of love that can charge up the love that was lost. Your best friend will help you find your need, not the alcohol. Stay away from any activity that will make you sub or unconscious like alcohol. They will never solve your problem. Most of the time, they make you more hopeless.
Moving On
Moving on is the most difficult part of human existence. Sooner you will be able to get your knees up again, however, moving on will still be difficult. It takes too much time, effort, sacrifices, and perseverance to be able to claim, yes, finally I move on. While it’s easy to get up, it is also easy to pretend and live a life of our own foolishness. Moving on is not a word to say, it's an action to take, a move to get your life straight back on the right path.
Some call it the art of letting go while others say it’s moving on. But for me, I’d say it’s the roller coaster ride.
Letting go and moving on is the most difficult stage in a broken relationship. There are no words that can explain the pain of being betrayed or the loss of someone to who’s your whole being are connected. But that is what life is, in love and war, all is fair. Whether we like it or must like it, we’ll have to move on.
Here are some tips on how to let go and move on. This is the 2nd step in surviving a broken relationship. The first step is to overcome your depression by letting go of your feeling for your closest allies. Next is to open your eyes to reality and focus on what is left for you to be saved.
After falling down, you’ll have to stand up again by finding your other innermost desire and work to achieve them or in other words change focus. For a mother, the child or the children play a vital role in this moment of her life. There is no other thing most precious to a mother but her children. She can easily change her focus from the feeling of being left out, to a desire to take care of and protect her children better. A mother will also brave his heart to do anything to give his child or children their needs. In return, the mother gets strength from them. That is why it's cruel for a man to also take the child or children away from a mother no matter what the fault is.
A man is born to be brave and strong. Instantly, he can easily recover from any unexpected circumstances but not when Love is the matter. That is why love is called the greatest conqueror because the greatest conqueror of times has been conquered with love. More often, it is more difficult for a man to stand up after a fall because of fear from humiliation or shall we call it pride. Usually, men pretend to be alright, and compose themselves, but live like a rat. No direction and no feelings for the people around him until the time they realize they have done the worse.
The innermost desire of a man is to be loved and the other is to succeed in his endeavor. When the man is in pain, he must find his other desire so he can change his focus from the pain to the goal of achieving it. And he needs the guidance and support of those who are close to him. The greatest weakness of a man is himself but can also be his greatest asset. As soon as he overcomes his pride, he will be able to easily cease the situation and move on.
But men and women are all alike, the first step to moving on is to change focus, and the second step is to let go of the guilt. Yes, I believe the reason why it's difficult to move on is because of the feeling of guilt inside. Because of such feelings, we tend to punish ourselves and make ourselves do things that hurt us more. Pretending that have moved on, but still fighting for the love that was never yours. It's good to fight a good fight for true love so that in the end you’ll never regret what you have not done, but should also learn to accept defeat, and stop when it is not worthy of it anymore.
